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1) Pass the puck. You might be the best player on the ice. You might be able to stick-handle through the other team and score at will, but nobody likes a puck-hog. Give it up!

2) Don’t kill the goalie: During the warm-up. No goalie ever asks to have his head warmed up. Nor do they need to work out kinks in their neck or collarbone. There is no need to shoot the puck above the goalie’s belly button. If you want to wire a few high hard ones, or test out your new composite stick, do it against the glass. Injuring the goalie during warm-up is a big no-no. During the game. When the goalie puts his glove or pad on the puck stop hacking & poking. Assume the play is dead & skate away. If you are driving the net and have to choose between running over the goalie (and scoring) and going around the net (and not scoring), opt for the latter.

3) Don’t kill anybody else. If you get the puck at the point, resist the temptation to shoot for the top corner. Ripping a shot past the ears of the guys standing in front of the net won’t win you any friends.

4) Pay the man. You need the guy who organizes the game and hence collects the money needed to pay for the ice – you need this guy more than he needs you. Don’t make him chase you down for money.

5) Get off the ice. If you are tired, get off ice. If you are resting your stick on your knees & sucking for air, get off the ice. If you’ve been on the ice for more than 2 minutes, get off the ice. If your line mates head for the bench, get off the ice. When in doubt, get off the ice.

6) Keep it clean. Assume the NHL rules apply to you – stop hooking, holding and water-skiing. If you trip somebody, apologize. If somebody trips, hooks or holds you, assume it was an accident.

7) Air out your equipment. When you were 13 it was cool to bring tears to your teammates’ eyes just by opening your bag. That time has passed. Keep it clean.

8) Don’t whine about the teams. The same guy who collects the money attempts to create balanced teams from a wildly unbalanced talent pool. If the odd game is a little one-sided just shut-up and play harder. Consider it an opportunity to work on your defensive play.

9) Give up your dream. You are not going to the NHL. You will not be discovered by an NHL scout while playing pick-up hockey at 11:30 pm on a Friday night. Play hard but remember that Janet Gretzky is not waiting at home for you & everybody has to go to work the next morning.

10) Humility. If you score a goal please remember it’s pick up hockey. Nobody likes the jackass who rubs it in every time he scores (there are exceptions of course) so simply skate over to the guy who passed you the puck, tap his glove, and get on with it.